


goodbye.

by swoosiks



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Jackson Dies, M/M, Sad, jinson, jinyoung tries to cope with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 12:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21208757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swoosiks/pseuds/swoosiks
Summary: he knows he'll never feel jackson's warmth anymore, no matter how much he longs for it.





	goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> haha enjoy i was sad about the news with stray kids and woojin leaving so i wrote a sad fic to cope with it

“Hyung, did you hear about Jackson-“ Before BamBam could even finish, Jinyoung cut him off.

“I did. I’m sorry Bam, I think I need sometime to myself. Maybe update me when the funeral happens? I see you then. Love you.” Jinyoung hung up on the call, his heart aching. ]

_This wasn’t real- was it? This had to be another one of Jackson’s sick jokes. _

He couldn’t accept it. He couldn’t accept it, so to cope with it, he thought writing a letter to Jackson would be good. Maybe Jackson would somehow be able to read his letter wherever he is. He missed him so much, Jinyoung just wanted to feel Jackson’s warmth around him again. But he knew that he wouldn’t be able to.

Halfway throughout writing his letter, Jinyoung drifted off, hoping that whatever dream he has will bring him happiness.

Jinyoung loved the dream, he felt like he was reliving all the happy moments he’s had with Jackson. It brought him back to when Jackson first confess and Jinyoung happily saying yes to go out with Jackson. Their first date, all their dates. The times when it was too rainy to go out so Jackson would come to Jinyoung’s apartment drenched in water just to fulfill his promise of being on a date with Jinyoung for that day. After that, they would cuddle in a blanket, watching a movie and drinking hot coffee together. Small moments like those provided Jinyoung more happiness than he could ever wish for. Then, in the dream, they announced Jackson was hit by a car. _“We regret to tell you that Jackson Wang has passed away due to a car accident. The young man saved a child when he saw the child out in the street.” _Flashbacks to the child’s mother crying, saying sorry for Jinyoung’s lost and how grateful she was to Jackson for saving her son. It was too sudden, it still haunted Jinyoung his dreams, it shook him up.

Sitting up on his bed, Jinyoung felt sweat form around his forehead, he looked around, he looked next to him, the empty space. The empty space that wasn’t supposed to be empty, it was supposed to filled by Jackson. _Why isn’t he here? He’s supposed to fill the space in the bed._ Jinyoung asked himself again and again.

_Why?_

_Why Jackson? Maybe it should have been the child.._ Jinyoung thought to himself, which he hated. He shouldn’t think like that- how could he? How could he wish that someone else was dead in Jackson’s space. But he just- he just missed Jackson. They were just having a date the other day, he just proposed to Jackson. They just promised each other they’d be together forever. It was all going so well, so, so well. Everything was fine. Everything was fine until it wasn’t fine anymore.

He missed him. He wanted his warmth. It could only be Jackson’s, no one’s would replace Jackson’s warmth. If it wasn’t Jackson, then what would be do? He just misses him.

Slowly, he cried. He felt his warm tears heat up his cold face, in the quiet rain. He could almost hear every droplet without Jackson’s loud yelling. He cried and cried and cried. When looking at the mirror, he saw how red his eyes were, there was no way he could go to work the next day like that. If he felt like that now- how would he face the others at the funeral? He didn’t want to cry in front of the others. He knew Youngjae and Yugyeom were dealing with the new badly. He didn’t want to add on to it but he just missed him. Looking at the unfinished letter, he thought that he should finish the letter. Maybe somehow Jackson would be able to read the letter. Maybe in their next life, shall they meet again, they’ll fall in love again and experience the happily ever after that they didn’t get to feel this time. 

_Dear Jackson, _

_I hate you so much. I hate you so much for leaving me so suddenly. You know that I miss you right? When I proposed to you, you promised me that we’d spend the rest of our lives together. Till we grow old, so old that we wouldn’t be able to stand but we’ll still have each other. Grow old with the others, grow old together. I miss you, y’know? I miss your stupid smile, your cute Squirtle smile. When you laugh, yell, or sing. I love every part of you and I treasure you. Just everything about you I love. I feel guilty, as if I haven’t said enough ‘I love you’s to you before you left. I’m scared you know. What if I forget how you look because I can’t see you in the morning next to me every day? What If I forget how you sound because I can’t hear you call my name when you ask for a morning kiss or a goodnight kiss. What if I just forget you? I’m scared Jackson, I’m scared. I don’t want to forget you, but what if I do? What if I forget you because I can’t see or hear you anymore? Because we can’t create new memories together. Because you’re not here. I miss you. I want to see you. I want to hear you. I want to touch you. I want to feel your warmth against mine. I want to cuddle up together when it’s raining. I want to go to the beach together when it’s sunny and warm and we can play in the water. I want to hang out with you under a tree surrounded by beautiful flower fields. I want to drink warm coffee with you in a café while looking at autumn scenery. I want you. Come back to me. I know half of this letter is filled with me missing you and how much I love you and I want to see you again, but I just love you so so much. My heart aches and it won’t stop. My heart aches because of you. Please come back to me, I’m scared. I’m lonely and cold. I love you. _

_I really do miss you. _

_I love you always. I love you 3000. You’re the only Iron Man I need. _

_Goodbye. _

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it. this was short but bitter, feel free to leave comments or talk to me via twitter @moonsseunie


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